//
you're reading...
fun poem, love poem, poetic challenge, Poetry

When


I recently joined a Blackberry Messenger group called Bajan Poets … I am totally inspired by the talent that I have in my little island 🙂  Anyway, today one of my friends Katherine challenged another poet to respond to her poem entitled “When”.  I decided that I wanted to try my hand at it too.  So this is what I came up with – this response took me about 5 minutes 🙂  So, here goes ….

When

When I first saw you, the earth stood still

My heart paused in the eternity between seconds

My breath stopped, I couldn’t breathe

And then you spoke

My faculties returned with a vengeance

As I heard you say my name

When we first kissed, passion ignited an inferno in my heart

Flames of desire shot out, engulfing reason

Burning all rational thought to cinders

My lips touched yours and my emotions erupted,

Instructed my hands to move across your body

Exploring each nook and crevice…

When we first made love our connection was intense

My heart in suspense

As our bodies moved in sync with our enflamed desires

Building slowly from rhythmic dance to orgasmic crescendo ….

And when I lost you…

My heart rent in two

The pain of my loss overwhelmed me completely

Grey thunderstorm and pelting rain

Hid my tears as I slowly watched

You leave.

RRG 2011.07.01

About PassionPoet

Wordsmith. Spoken word artist. I inhale words and exhale poetry.....

Discussion

32 thoughts on “When

  1. Very nice. There is nothing like passion in the midst of love.

    Like

    Posted by emmett wheatfall | December 14, 2011, 11:05 PM
  2. Well, you have written a poignant piece, with just the thought of, “when.”

    Like

    Posted by thingy | December 14, 2011, 11:34 PM
  3. cool for a spontaneous piece! enjoy the rally!!!
    interesting bout the group, on bb??? nice!

    http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/discomfort/

    Like

    Posted by Life: Between the lines | December 15, 2011, 1:23 AM
    • Yes I am enjoying the rally very much!

      A group of like minded poets have joined together as a poetic family to encourage and support one another – we call ourselves LXP – League of Xtraordinary Poets. Most of us have Blackberries, so we connect with each other on BBM. We created a group with several chats – a general chat, one specifically to plan our next Poetry workshop, and a Poems chat, where new work is posted for all of us to see and comment on 🙂 It’s pretty awesome 😀

      Like

      Posted by bajanpoet | December 15, 2011, 2:06 AM
  4. This really good, especially for such a spontaneous write! Very nicely done!

    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/a-thousand-candles/

    Like

    Posted by charlesmashburn | December 15, 2011, 2:39 AM
  5. A great flow of emotions…..

    Like

    Posted by ankush | December 15, 2011, 4:21 AM
  6. Incredible passion. Wow!

    Like

    Posted by Kay Salady | December 15, 2011, 10:16 AM
  7. Spontaneous piece!

    Like

    Posted by maitreyeechowdhury | December 15, 2011, 10:50 AM
  8. powerful AND DRAMATIC EXPRESSIONS.

    Like

    Posted by Morning | December 15, 2011, 4:45 PM
  9. “…exploring each nook and crevice…” nice! very sweet and subtly sensuous. classy write!

    http://magicinthebackyard.wordpress.com/2011/12/15/on-the-dock-where-summer-lied/

    Like

    Posted by Kellie Elmore | December 15, 2011, 8:56 PM
  10. Nice write, full of emotion. Well done!

    Like

    Posted by Gwen Dubeau (@gpenman) | December 16, 2011, 3:24 AM
  11. I’ve never really thought of what a powerful word ‘when’ is… This started my mind whirring! Thank you!

    Like

    Posted by CC Champagne | December 16, 2011, 1:38 PM
  12. Such an intense and passionate piece! I like the change in the mood from almost ecstatic to depressed… These are the colours of love. Nicely done! 🙂

    Like

    Posted by magher1 | December 16, 2011, 6:10 PM
  13. Beautiful work! And I love this kind of responsive poetry. 🙂
    I post here ~
    http://puplumages.wordpress.com/2011/12/17/con-ditions-apply-for-the-conman/

    Like

    Posted by Purvi | December 17, 2011, 10:04 AM
  14. it speaks to me, the spirit of the poem.

    Like

    Posted by crayfish | December 18, 2011, 2:12 PM
  15. Lovely evocative poetry!
    SophiaX

    Like

    Posted by sexuallifeofawife | December 30, 2011, 2:14 PM
  16. you rock.

    happy new year.
    Thanks for the love to poets rally, keep it up.

    smiles.

    welcome joining us any time,

    Like

    Posted by Natalie | January 4, 2012, 2:08 AM

Communicate with my Muse....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 851 other followers

Past Poetic Posts

Poetic Submissions

July 2011
S M T W T F S
« Jun   Aug »
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
%d bloggers like this: