I was given some news tonight that left me feeling furious. I probably don’t need to spell it out once you have read the poem. I just had to release this piece before going to bed. It really probably should be kept private, but heck – this is my blog. Read if you feel like it. Sorry for the surly tone, but I’m still coming off of my anger and now I am still trying to be able to sleep.
This is the perfect time to write – not about sex.
Your news floored me, made me mad, I’m blue vex* –
Made my head get hot and blood turn ice cold –
You gave up what you promised you’d keep sacred; unsold.
You didn’t promise me, yet I still feel betrayed;
What happened to the resolution and decision you made?
Wondering what he did to deserve such a gift?
I did not mean to be jealous, though that is there too,
But my feelings are hurt more because you became untrue
To yourself; you swore he wouldn’t be able to cross
The River to the treasure he sought after, his loss
Was your gain, we decided together –
And then he squandered our commitment.
I’m angry and hurt, now I can’t even sleep,
Thinking of your news has got me in some deep
Shit. I can feel the blood pass my nose
And my temples are throbbing; my night’s repose
Is cast off as I sit staring off in the dark.
I just had to turn my lights back on, allow the spark
Of anger to germinate a poem or prose
Or something… I just had to get out
All the passion I’m feeling; stopped me
Staring at the ceiling. God damn you’re making me rhyme
Something I don’t usually do – not at every line!
But I have to express all the feelings I have boiling inside ….
And then to release them until they subside
And the raging emotion starts to cool and calm down….
Now maybe I can sleep, ease the pain of let down –
And awake to the new day, putting last night aside.
* Blue Vex – a Barbadian slang term for being extremely angry.