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inspirational poem, Poetry, serious poem

Phoenix


Sorry for the unintended hiatus, my lovely followers!  I have not been idle,  I have been writing for a while; I just have not had the time to post.  

This poem was recently written (try last night!) for a friend who has lost her mom.  I asked her how I could help – she said I could write a poem for her that speaks to courage.   She also likes horrors and loves the series True Blood on HBO…. that info will become relevant as you read the poem. Anyway, here it is:  Pheonix.  Enjoy!

Phoenix

Vampire sucking essence:

Drained energy, dripping red,

Flowed from punctured soul;

Holes in heart bled.

Tears flowed.

Shaking feeling resonates,

Grief emanates from

Deepest recesses….

Abysmal cries.

Lone spirit dies

While too close to

Draining force;

Hypnotic nearness depletes –

Little by little –

Until soul sleeps

Without feeling a thing.

Yet courage builds within heart –

phoenix starts rising from ash,

soul lifting with hope.

Despair flees; hope soars –

Love releases strength.

Memories wield holy shield

Against vampiric attack –

Mother’s love helps soul fight back

Daughter’s heart quickened…

Soul reawakened

Will unbent, unshaken

Rising steadily –

Resolve to move forward –

Pain no more; no more cowered

Under depair’s lash –

Released to soar with renewed flash

Of courage!

Sun rising on redeemed soul

A new day dawns.

And Daughter is not alone.

About PassionPoet

Wordsmith. Spoken word artist. I inhale words and exhale poetry.....

Discussion

27 thoughts on “Phoenix

  1. smiles. i image your friend enjoyed your verse and hope that it helps her…losing a mother is such a hard thing….may the sun rise anew….

    Like

    Posted by brian | August 17, 2011, 12:26 AM
  2. There are times when there are no words to be said yet poetry is able to pierce the barrier. You’ve done that for your friend, I’m sure.

    Like

    Posted by liv2write2day | August 17, 2011, 2:18 AM
  3. That’s a really nice gift to your friend. It acknowledges crippling grief and places the source of hope in the object of that grief: that the loved one lives on in heart and memory. Clever the way you worked in the tv show that gives your friend pleasure.

    Like

    Posted by Mark Kerstetter | August 17, 2011, 2:23 AM
    • Thanks Mark 🙂 My heart was in my hand as she read it … I was like, “Do you like it? I hope you do. I worked really hard at it…..” and then she smiled. Man I was so happy …. she liked it 🙂 Yeah I was pretty proud of figuring out how to put her love of vampires into the piece.

      Like

      Posted by bajanpoet | August 17, 2011, 3:14 AM
  4. Love the first line truly gripping, sucked me right in, haha had to use that.

    Like

    Posted by Pat Hatt | August 17, 2011, 3:12 AM
  5. oh, I hope this comforted your friend – what a wonderful gift to give someone. I love the exclamation – of courage! It really impacted me. Thanks for sharing this.

    Like

    Posted by Sheila Moore | August 17, 2011, 4:02 AM
  6. Hello.
    I like how this progresses from dark despair at the beginning to courage/hope in the end.
    “A new day dawns.
    And Daughter is not alone.”…nice imagery.

    I hope your poem brings your friend some comfort during this painful time.

    Thanks for sharing & for the visit too.

    Enjoy OLN!

    Remove These Satin Sheets

    Like

    Posted by A | August 17, 2011, 3:24 PM
  7. Those darned old vampires, always trying to wreak havoc.

    Your friend is lucky to have you.

    Beautiful write.

    Like

    Posted by Jannie Funster | August 17, 2011, 6:09 PM
  8. how lovely of you and to include your friends name in this too was very clever …I hope she reawakens soon, grief takes its own course and time ….thank you for sharing

    Like

    Posted by kez | August 17, 2011, 7:55 PM
  9. a lovely and inspiring poem, my friend… I am sure your friend will appreciate it a great deal… may peace be with them…
    Rising from the flames of grief is a huge task..and requires a lot of courage… but love and support make that possible…

    So, here’s to love…and to coming out successful!!

    Like

    Posted by Kavita | August 18, 2011, 1:16 AM
  10. Lovely dedication, I believe you captured it for her in beautiful tempo. ~ Rose

    Like

    Posted by C Rose | August 18, 2011, 3:39 PM
  11. Hello Bajanpoet—

    This is a lovely tribute for your friend and her loss.

    I have a couple of suggestions. The Caps at the beginning of each line interfere with the flow of the poem (IMHO) and it would flow smoother if you would drop those.

    This could use some stanza breaks to allow the reader time to breathe. I would try something like this: (please feel free to toss this to the curb if it does not work for you)

    Phoenix

    vampire sucking essence:

    drained energy, dripping red,

    flowed from punctured soul;

    holes in heart bled.

    tears flowed.

    shaking feeling resonates,

    grief emanates from

    deepest recesses….

    abysmal cries.

    lone spirit dies

    [While too close to] I would cut this line

    draining force;

    hypnotic nearness depletes –

    little by little –

    until soul sleeps

    without feeling a thing.

    [Yet] courage builds within heart – (drop yet)

    phoenix starts rising from ash,

    soul lifting with hope.

    despair flees; hope soars –

    love releases strength.

    memories wield holy shield

    against vampiric attack –

    mother’s love helps soul fight back

    daughter’s heart quickened…(I would eliminate the ellipsis)

    soul reawakened

    will unbent, unshaken

    rising steadily –

    resolve to move forward –

    pain no more; no more cowered

    under depair’s lash – (despair misspelled)

    released to soar with renewed flash

    of courage! (I would drop the ‘!,’ I think it weakens the piece )

    sun rising on redeemed soul

    a new day dawns.

    [And] daughter is not alone. (cut ‘and)

    I enjoyed reading this and can only imagine how touched your friend was when you presented this to her.

    Thanks for linking up tonight.

    Like

    Posted by christi moon | August 19, 2011, 6:24 PM
  12. creative, keep up the excellence.

    Greetings, Glad to Meet!

    We are starting a poetry community at a Garden Setting, our week 1 writing theme is

    “Adam and Eve” ,

    Please check out our site and prepare to participate, 1 to 3 poems are welcome!
    The Poetry Picnic is open Sunday, 8pm, American Central Time!
    Hope to see you share your delicious poetry with us.
    Bless your weekend!
    xoxox

    Like

    Posted by The Gooseberry Garden | August 20, 2011, 1:56 PM

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