Sorry for the unintended hiatus, my lovely followers! I have not been idle, I have been writing for a while; I just have not had the time to post.
This poem was recently written (try last night!) for a friend who has lost her mom. I asked her how I could help – she said I could write a poem for her that speaks to courage. She also likes horrors and loves the series True Blood on HBO…. that info will become relevant as you read the poem. Anyway, here it is: Pheonix. Enjoy!
Phoenix
Vampire sucking essence:
Drained energy, dripping red,
Flowed from punctured soul;
Holes in heart bled.
Tears flowed.
Shaking feeling resonates,
Grief emanates from
Deepest recesses….
Abysmal cries.
Lone spirit dies
While too close to
Draining force;
Hypnotic nearness depletes –
Little by little –
Until soul sleeps
Without feeling a thing.
Yet courage builds within heart –
phoenix starts rising from ash,
soul lifting with hope.
Despair flees; hope soars –
Love releases strength.
Memories wield holy shield
Against vampiric attack –
Mother’s love helps soul fight back
Daughter’s heart quickened…
Soul reawakened
Will unbent, unshaken
Rising steadily –
Resolve to move forward –
Pain no more; no more cowered
Under depair’s lash –
Released to soar with renewed flash
Of courage!
Sun rising on redeemed soul
A new day dawns.
And Daughter is not alone.
Passion's Pleasure 
smiles. i image your friend enjoyed your verse and hope that it helps her…losing a mother is such a hard thing….may the sun rise anew….
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Posted by brian | August 17, 2011, 12:26 AMAgreed… I’m praying that it helps her…
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 17, 2011, 3:11 AMThere are times when there are no words to be said yet poetry is able to pierce the barrier. You’ve done that for your friend, I’m sure.
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Posted by liv2write2day | August 17, 2011, 2:18 AMI sure hope so! Thanks for stopping by!
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 17, 2011, 1:56 PMThat’s a really nice gift to your friend. It acknowledges crippling grief and places the source of hope in the object of that grief: that the loved one lives on in heart and memory. Clever the way you worked in the tv show that gives your friend pleasure.
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Posted by Mark Kerstetter | August 17, 2011, 2:23 AMThanks Mark 🙂 My heart was in my hand as she read it … I was like, “Do you like it? I hope you do. I worked really hard at it…..” and then she smiled. Man I was so happy …. she liked it 🙂 Yeah I was pretty proud of figuring out how to put her love of vampires into the piece.
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 17, 2011, 3:14 AMLove the first line truly gripping, sucked me right in, haha had to use that.
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Posted by Pat Hatt | August 17, 2011, 3:12 AMThanks Patrick! I’m so glad it did hehehehe
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 17, 2011, 3:19 AMoh, I hope this comforted your friend – what a wonderful gift to give someone. I love the exclamation – of courage! It really impacted me. Thanks for sharing this.
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Posted by Sheila Moore | August 17, 2011, 4:02 AMI’m so glad it impacted you Sheila 🙂 I’m glad you liked it 🙂 She wanted a piece that specifically spoke to courage, so I think it worked well, what do you think? 😀
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 17, 2011, 1:58 PMHello.
I like how this progresses from dark despair at the beginning to courage/hope in the end.
“A new day dawns.
And Daughter is not alone.”…nice imagery.
I hope your poem brings your friend some comfort during this painful time.
Thanks for sharing & for the visit too.
Enjoy OLN!
Remove These Satin Sheets
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Posted by A | August 17, 2011, 3:24 PMSorry…I had trouble posting my comment. It’s Andy
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Posted by Andy | August 17, 2011, 3:25 PMYeah I hope it does too … the progress from despair to hope was very well executed, if I do say so myself … I wasn’t sure if others would get what I had in my head – but everyone has so far LOL
I like your pieces too, Andy 🙂 Hope to see you again!
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 17, 2011, 6:00 PMThose darned old vampires, always trying to wreak havoc.
Your friend is lucky to have you.
Beautiful write.
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Posted by Jannie Funster | August 17, 2011, 6:09 PMThank you so much!
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 18, 2011, 1:49 AMLOL yeah the vampires are so bothersome!
Thanks for the kind words 🙂
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 18, 2011, 12:55 PMhow lovely of you and to include your friends name in this too was very clever …I hope she reawakens soon, grief takes its own course and time ….thank you for sharing
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Posted by kez | August 17, 2011, 7:55 PMThanks, but I didn’t …. lol she isn’t named Phoenix hehe She did like the poem tho 🙂
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 18, 2011, 1:48 AMa lovely and inspiring poem, my friend… I am sure your friend will appreciate it a great deal… may peace be with them…
Rising from the flames of grief is a huge task..and requires a lot of courage… but love and support make that possible…
So, here’s to love…and to coming out successful!!
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Posted by Kavita | August 18, 2011, 1:16 AMHear hear! I second that “Here’s to love … and to coming out successful!!!!”
Thank you for your kind words … am grateful you like it!
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 18, 2011, 1:39 AMLovely dedication, I believe you captured it for her in beautiful tempo. ~ Rose
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Posted by C Rose | August 18, 2011, 3:39 PMThank you very much, Rose … that means a lot 🙂
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 18, 2011, 3:56 PMHello Bajanpoet—
This is a lovely tribute for your friend and her loss.
I have a couple of suggestions. The Caps at the beginning of each line interfere with the flow of the poem (IMHO) and it would flow smoother if you would drop those.
This could use some stanza breaks to allow the reader time to breathe. I would try something like this: (please feel free to toss this to the curb if it does not work for you)
Phoenix
vampire sucking essence:
drained energy, dripping red,
flowed from punctured soul;
holes in heart bled.
tears flowed.
shaking feeling resonates,
grief emanates from
deepest recesses….
abysmal cries.
lone spirit dies
[While too close to] I would cut this line
draining force;
hypnotic nearness depletes –
little by little –
until soul sleeps
without feeling a thing.
[Yet] courage builds within heart – (drop yet)
phoenix starts rising from ash,
soul lifting with hope.
despair flees; hope soars –
love releases strength.
memories wield holy shield
against vampiric attack –
mother’s love helps soul fight back
daughter’s heart quickened…(I would eliminate the ellipsis)
soul reawakened
will unbent, unshaken
rising steadily –
resolve to move forward –
pain no more; no more cowered
under depair’s lash – (despair misspelled)
released to soar with renewed flash
of courage! (I would drop the ‘!,’ I think it weakens the piece )
sun rising on redeemed soul
a new day dawns.
[And] daughter is not alone. (cut ‘and)
I enjoyed reading this and can only imagine how touched your friend was when you presented this to her.
Thanks for linking up tonight.
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Posted by christi moon | August 19, 2011, 6:24 PMThanks! I think I’m sorry I didn’t see this site BEFORE I sent it to her lol I love the changes. I will be back to the site again … this was awesome. 🙂
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 19, 2011, 6:45 PMcreative, keep up the excellence.
Greetings, Glad to Meet!
We are starting a poetry community at a Garden Setting, our week 1 writing theme is
“Adam and Eve” ,
Please check out our site and prepare to participate, 1 to 3 poems are welcome!
The Poetry Picnic is open Sunday, 8pm, American Central Time!
Hope to see you share your delicious poetry with us.
Bless your weekend!
xoxox
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Posted by The Gooseberry Garden | August 20, 2011, 1:56 PMOn my way!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted by bajanpoet | August 22, 2011, 12:39 PM