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Two Forms: Inspired


I’m accustomed to writing free verse, and more recently, spoken word pieces. On this occasion I wanted to try something new – so I wrote a haiku… (Didn’t mean to rhyme there!)  Anyhow, I had a flash of inspiration, so I  free flowed a poem in my regular style, then transformed it into a haiku. I’ll first put down the regular piece, and then the haiku.  Did it translate well?

Inspired (spoken word)

I’m Passionate –

I resonate

With expressions of rapture

As I capture the nuances of every breath

Held

And expelled

Whispering winds brought to silence

At the beauty of a red tinged sunset

The Earth paused

Awed

As winking sun bows low

Ending sizzling performance with a flourish

Giving way to muted Moon’s flight

Delicate and light

Cool white lace ribbons

Sequined glitter on dusky dress

Twirling gracefully before eager eyesight

And my hands are compelled to write

As dusk fades into brilliant night.

 

And the other ….

Inspired (Haiku)

Winking sun bows low

Blazing performance ends, cools –

Moonlight rises now.

 

Cool white lace ribbons

Sequined glitter scattered dress

Dusk fades – I must write.

Which do you like better?

About PassionPoet

Wordsmith. Spoken word artist. I inhale words and exhale poetry.....

Discussion

8 thoughts on “Two Forms: Inspired

  1. I prefer the first haiku because it is more in keeping with the full out poem. the other does not make me think of what you wrote in the full out poem….it’s still nice, but not as descriptive. Love your work!

    Like

    Posted by ahhhpoetry | November 25, 2011, 4:34 PM
  2. Well Loly, the two haikus were the whole “Inspired” poem … they were meant to be like verses or stanzas… if you look at the spoken word piece and then the second haiku ‘verse’ you will see the correlation of the two … the majority of the lines are lifted from the first poem…

    But yeah I like the first haiku – I just thought I could not get all that the free verse piece was saying in one haiku, so I used two….

    Are you saying I should have just used the first Haiku, even though it didn’t have the thought about me being inspired to write in it?

    Like

    Posted by bajanpoet | November 25, 2011, 6:08 PM
  3. I love the feel of every word (of the spoken word) on my tongue. Very delicate piece. Kudos!

    PS – I havent the slightest idea about Haiku *shame* so I can’t comment on that but I absolutely love the airiness of this piece =)

    Like

    Posted by Nekisha CD Lewis | December 1, 2011, 11:58 PM
    • I’m glad you appreciate the spoken word 🙂 I was experimenting with different forms – so your homework is to research haiku 🙂 I write mostly spoken word so I wanted to get back to my roots and write structured poems again, even if I’m using a structure I’m not exactly familiar with lol

      Like

      Posted by bajanpoet | December 2, 2011, 12:25 AM
  4. I liked the free verse best but you did pick some of my favorite lines for the haiku! The free verse shows how you were seduced by the sunset while the haiku is just to clipped to convey the dreaminess. IMHO

    Like

    Posted by darkangelwrites | December 2, 2011, 6:48 PM

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pingback: Wilt « Poet: Whispers - December 22, 2011

  2. Pingback: Alight (Haiku) « Poet: Whispers - January 6, 2012

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