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inspirational poem, poetic challenge, Poetry, poetry forms, serious poem, sonnet

Triumph (Sonnet)


English: A Parker Sonnet pen (Mk 1). It has a ...

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I was working on this sonnet since last year, after a friend of mine was – in my opinion – unfairly boosted out of her job.  She was a great help to my friends and I as it related to learning about poetry and we felt as though that there were certain forces that were unnecessarily working against her.  I also wanted to work on my poetry forms and decided to write a sonnet, as I had not done so in a long time.  This is what I came up with:

Sonnet: Triumph

Do not go gentle into that dark night

Where sun is absent, where moonlight hides face.

Charge forth and challenge ignorance with light

And dispel evil with beauty and grace.

We know there’s nothing new under the sun

And that all it takes for evil to win

Is for good to turn tail without having begun

To stand up for right, to make evil spin!

But be no coward, stand not aside afraid

Draw forth your sword, charge forward into war

Slash and slice for justice; confront, not evade!

Forward into battle, scorn not your scars –

Charge forth! Charge forth!  Let armour shine bright

as warriors fight for the Good and Right!

About PassionPoet

Wordsmith. Spoken word artist. I inhale words and exhale poetry.....

Discussion

53 thoughts on “Triumph (Sonnet)

  1. You gotta keep hustling. Good things happen to people who hustle.

    A wonderful tribute to the power of determination here. A wonderful read.

    Like

    Posted by skyraftwanderer | February 21, 2012, 8:48 PM
  2. This is definitely my favourite poem you have written, it is exceptional. ‘Charge forth! Charge forth! Let armour shine bright’ is a magnificent line!

    http://twoinformalfeet.blogspot.com/2012/02/salvatore-e-elena.html

    Like

    Posted by Aaron Kent | February 21, 2012, 9:45 PM
  3. I absolutely love everything about this poem except the first line, which has only one word different that Dylan Thomas’s: Do not go gentle into that good night. This detracts from the magnificence of the poem. Try and come up with a different first line and it will truly shine on its own merit.

    Like

    Posted by Elizabeth Young | February 21, 2012, 10:22 PM
    • Well truth be told the first line was the inspiration for the whole poem… the first line WAS ‘taken’ from the Dylan Thomas line – I sorta was inspired and wanted to see where it would take me …. I might try to change it, but I don’t know if I could get the same spark that he gave me….

      Like

      Posted by bajanpoet | February 22, 2012, 12:15 AM
  4. ok i can not comment on form but i agree with your summation of what true warriors stand for…it is empowering as well….nice

    Like

    Posted by brian miller | February 21, 2012, 11:20 PM
  5. I can definitely understand the pull of that first line, and your poem is so different..so, I don’t think this is wrong.

    I ‘lifted’ a line from another poet years ago…he wasn’t nice about it, but it was all ego between us, too….

    “Quite birds! I haven’t turned you into metaphors yet.”…..I never read this poem of his, but fell in LOVE with that line. and went on to make my own poem surrounding that beginning line.

    As long as the content of the poem is not lifted, I think a word or a phrase here isn’t stealing…but many would disagree with me.

    This poet was a famous, international poet….and I was nothing. LOL~ Actually people who DID read his poem said mine was better. LOL~!

    But regardless. your poem is good, and the rhythm is fine and forward looking and the message strong.

    What is not to like?? And sonnet form is very, very difficult.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

    Posted by ladynyo | February 22, 2012, 1:02 AM
    • Thanks so much Lady …. I didn’t think it was so bad, and truth be told I’ve never read the entire poem by him either … the line was quoted in a poetry workshop I was in recently and it drew me.

      Thanks so much! This is only my second sonnet ever lol Yeah it was challenging to keep the rhythm – I think I got most of the lines to 10 syllables, too LOL I’m so glad you liked it!

      Like

      Posted by bajanpoet | February 22, 2012, 1:15 AM
  6. Charge forth and challenge ignorance with light

    And dispel evil with beauty and grace.

    So so we are called to the heroic everyday I think–Lovely piece!

    Like

    Posted by Audrey Howitt | February 22, 2012, 1:12 AM
  7. Hi Robert, to say the poem is not bad is a stretch. I feel the other comments are blowing smoke up your ass and I feel I owe you only honesty but keep writing and yes, the sonnet form can be challenging.

    Like

    Posted by Mark Jason Welch | February 22, 2012, 1:55 AM
  8. Very nice call to action and fighting for what is good and just ~

    Nice form too ~

    Like

    Posted by Heaven | February 22, 2012, 2:54 AM
  9. Sonnets can be so challenging, but you’re a true warrior and you shine bright!

    Like

    Posted by Laurie Kolp | February 22, 2012, 3:00 AM
  10. nice stand for righteousness

    Like

    Posted by wolfsrosebud | February 22, 2012, 1:57 PM
  11. This is beautiful and encouraging! I love it! My favorite lines are:

    “Charge forth and challenge ignorance with light
    And dispel evil with beauty and grace.”

    I’ll bet this was a great encouragement to your friend who inspired it. Peace, Linda

    Like

    Posted by Linda Kruschke | February 22, 2012, 8:56 PM
  12. Very inspirational Bajan!

    Like

    Posted by dark angel | February 22, 2012, 11:13 PM
  13. Wow, I read this aloud and gave MYSELF goosebumps LOL

    Like

    Posted by bajanpoet | February 23, 2012, 1:57 PM
  14. Some strong imagery and phrasing here. Iambic pentameter is awry but I assume you are taking liberties with the meter on purpose?

    Like

    Posted by Luke Prater | February 23, 2012, 6:46 PM
  15. Your friend should be honored, I hope that you have shared your sonnet with her.

    Cheers,

    Mark Butkus

    Like

    Posted by Voyages Vistas Vino | February 23, 2012, 7:14 PM
  16. How wonderful it must be to receive such an uplifting poem from a friend, when one has been so disheartened by life.

    Like

    Posted by Kerry O'Connor | February 24, 2012, 2:08 PM
  17. Wonderful!

    Like

    Posted by WinterWrites | February 24, 2012, 5:22 PM
  18. I love sonnets…and this one speaks volumes. Great advice to a friend or anyone else and a great poem. Great job.

    Like

    Posted by Corey Rowley | February 24, 2012, 7:17 PM
  19. I enjoyed the whole poem, but I love this line: “Charge forth and challenge ignorance with light”!
    K

    Like

    Posted by Kay L. Davies | February 24, 2012, 11:20 PM
  20. Those words must have been of great help to your friend.

    Like

    Posted by Rinkly Rimes | February 25, 2012, 1:39 AM
  21. Great right. I’m sure your friend would be honored.

    Like

    Posted by Teresa | February 25, 2012, 3:09 AM
  22. Fabulous!
    Really like this 🙂 The battle and fine line is a tender balance, you portray that with conviction and so well 🙂
    Poppy

    Like

    Posted by PoppySilver | February 25, 2012, 3:36 PM
  23. I love the sense of hope and encouragement in this poem, so uplifting!

    Like

    Posted by Mary Mansfield | February 25, 2012, 4:56 PM
  24. Well Done, I enjoyed it! I love your view~

    Like

    Posted by Ella | February 28, 2012, 12:28 AM

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