Another Brain Dump poem … just reflecting. Maybe someone else can relate.
Fingers tracing exit wounds, reflectively;
Memories instinctively retracing steps
Like an errant thief returning unerringly to the scene of their crime.
Heart beats, slowly, carefully….
Life returning to normal
Kevlar is worn under my dress shirt now
As nightmares of kickbacks and slugs piercing flesh
Are still fresh on my mind.
Pain may be phantom now, but no less real:
Emotional upheaval the aftershock from
The shock of being shot by friendly fire –
Bullets barely missing most vital organs
But leaving gaping holes where my trust should be
As I struggle to breathe with a collapsed lung.
And, as I am gasping out …
As I am bleeding out…
I seek to understand where the shot could have come from.
Now, in recovery, my pain has lessened.
Sutures of time and apology have tied burst capillaries together
To allow blood to flow along familiar relationship routes again,
But, ever so often, sharp pains remind of old war wounds
Whenever the weather changes,
And, my mood changes to reflect the chill of bitterness that flows freely outside…
And I have to choose to close the windows of my soul against the chill
Choosing instead to stay close to the warmth of heartwarming moments
That remind me that I’m still alive in order to feel that chill
My fingers trace the imprint of bullet shaped words that nearly took my life
And I reflect upon the day my love was almost murdered.